This past weekend we celebrated my daughter’s graduation having earned her B.A. in Organized Speech/Communications. Her tenacity and unwillingness to give up made me so very proud. Being a single parent, barely making ends meet she still persevered. The support she needed from her Sun’s father was non-existent both physical and monetarily for the past eight years.
She did not let that deter her from her long-term goal – to secure a prosperous lifestyle for her and her Sun while he is still quite young, as well, as teach her Sun that through sheer determination he can achieve greatness that no one; will never take from him.
Her brother whom has his Master’s in Criminal Justice came into town with his two little ones adding more warmth surrounding my presence. As, I watched the interactions between cousins, uncles, aunts, sister and brothers it was like being in a dream, or sitting in the audience and watching a play on stage where you are one of the actors.
You’re watching the babies playing, laughing and just learning to interact with the other children; their parents taking on the roles you once played in molding a family, holding down a job or career making sure the gatherings are festive and unforgettable.
The newest married couple is doing the honors of hosting the graduation party for my daughter, her first cousin and his wife, in their newly built home. The home is warm and spacious, just the right fit for the other family members and friends.
Drinks are flowing freely for those who do and conversations are lively, funny, questionable, inquisitive and sometimes dismissive. Hurt feelings from the past come to focus and clarity is searched for in the questions asked.
Thoughts are held that only a girl could have in a family of men on why do we feel as outcast; why is what, I have to say not important, don’t you see, I am raising and educating my man-child alone and still I have graduated from the University? I may not have travelled your same road and hold your same beliefs, but I am relevant to this family and to this world.
I attempted in making sense of my daughters feelings, then found myself being attacked, only because of the generational divide…things were done different in my era verses the women of today, and I have to laugh not because it is funny, but rather I understand due to the fact, I grew up in a house of six men, where the only two females was me and my mother.
I felt like an out-cast because my mother kept me pretty-much separated from my brothers, unless she was going to be in the mix. So it was me, my Grimm fairytale books, my dollies and my real china tea-set that got me through the lonely moments of child-hood.
The boys had time to bond, experiment, journey, fish, hunt and everything else, I guess boys do together. So it makes perfect sense why an alone girl would grow into an oblivious existence in a family that is mainly made up of testosterone.
The big day arrives and the only thing that is important is seeing family and friends, hearing confirmation through faculty speakers and receiving the validation in holding the BA degree in your hands for everyone to see and for you to feel.
Afterwards dinners and congratulations are in order, because you my daughter have beat the odds that were stacked high against an only girl, single mother and raising a man-child.
You are now prepared to travel a new path, as you continue to build toward earning a MA/PhD. The reality of your living on the edge of life has now dissipated into a fine mist, clearing the way for you and your Sun’s bright future. My best wishes are steeped in love and every step you take, I manifest success.