“The Anonymous Ripped Off Treasure of the Year.”
No it is not spring-time, but it is time to start my spring cleaning. Cleaning out closets, drawers, cabinets, refrigerators, under the bed and have a psychological garage sale. Get rid of all the accumulated emotional baggage, I have acquired or allowed to clutter, block and make stagnate the flow of electrical current and the much needed fresh air that keeps me alive and breathing.
I need to recapture the joy, motivation of life, family and me. The Ill-conceived choice I made has threatened to take it all from me, all because of the choices, I have made.
I stand not in judgment of any one, no not even myself. It’s that I recognize the decision that I made was not a thoroughly thought out one and now it is time to pivot in a new – lesson learned direction.
I did not think of how lies could be covered up by chocolate, caramel charm and pearly white teeth, as they showed through a ultra-bright-twinkling smile, or how date nights that were an occasion I looked forward to every weekend was only a ploy to get me out of my comfort zone of relaxation, peace of mind and free will; or how we spotted each other at the gym and laughed at our contorted faces while lifting weights. I was beguiled and for me to think we were again becoming friends, ah… how ignorant I was.
Did I become blinded by what I wanted to see rather than what truly laid beneath the mask? Did others see the wolf in sheep’s clothing because of their vantage –point; an un-biased field of peripheral vision, unblocked by emotions?
Yes it was I that sought the land of illusion-AL milk and honey, for what I found…after the veil of deceit had fallen away was a murky swamp, filled with self-hate, unkindness, jealousy, and selfishness so huge it literally blocks out the Sun.
What is it? The need to have another individual wallow with you in the dark world of having no friends, or acquaintances; was I to be the all in all for nothing; why couldn’t it just move on, as a dark storm cloud and rain on someone else, never turning back in my direction?
I’ve made my decision I’m cleaning like I have never cleaned before; I will be able to lick the floor of my mind when I am done; for it will be immaculate and shine like a dime. I have date stamped my labor and delivery, as to when I will be birthed into my new strength, my new environment, my new life. Ase’
Ladies, Never “Consider Suicide, When the Rainbow and Your Strength are Enough.”